fair and unfair

  after i got so many questions in my mind, one of my high school friends took me to church. in the church, i saw so many new immigrants, most of them were chinese. they came from different parts of china, and we started to communicate.

” God is always with you, my sons.”

  this is my first message i got from the church, and of course, somehow i still believe it. it did help me a lot during the military service. for some reasons, i keep attending to the same church before i joined the US Navy. i learned so many things in church. i love people in the church. they are always happy, never worried too much. when they have trouble, they just keep smiling and believe the god will help them, and leave everything to him. as me, i still cannot be able to keep my smile daily because too many things happen to me.

  during the short 2 and half years high school life, i did my best to graduate and get the certificate. the first part time jobs during the high school is wedding set up ( not sure it is a right way to call it). my mum always saved money and tried to got as much pay as she could. i helped my mum to work, and share the money together. i was 17 years old during that time. the schedule was not stable at all. if i was lucky, i could make couple hundred dollars in 6 months. the job was pretty much physical work. i had to lift up so many things, and set up the table before the wedding. after the wedding, i needed to clean it up and then came home. i felt so fatigue after work, and felt asleep immediately. the second part time job was tour guided. i never forgot the the first time to become a tour guide: i had to face 50 people in the bus, and spoke a broken English. the trip was from Los Angeles to Mexico.  i started to do that when i was 18 years old. unfortunately, because the travel company was not good, i did not get too much pay, and the trip was always during the weekend. it was not fun to handle the 50 people every time, especially in Mexico, i got the bad language barrier.

  instead, i always love the stop in San Diego. i saw the USS Midway museum there. i took a lot of pictures, and imagine that i was a sailor. on the other hand, the reason i loved because i loved the ocean. i knew the US Navy had to deploy a lot, and could have a chance to see different marine animals. i wanted to smell the ocean, and tasted it in one day.

  unfortunately, the company was closed, and i became “unemployed” until i graduated from High school. i never forgot these moment in high school: the most classmates in my class are rich, and their parents always gave them the money. i saw the guys drove the BMW, BENZ, and other expensive sport cars to went out with girls and friends. although some of them were not rich, their parents still supported them a lot. when i was looking myself, i was single family, no money, not even had a used car, or so called “many girl friends”.

  “why it is not fair? did i do anything wrong? am i guilty? why thing is always not fair?!”

  i feel a little bit angry, but i have nothing i can do. i don’t know why my classmates’ family are so happy, and they are so successfully in school and other career’s life. i feel upset, and get a little bit lost….

  ” God is always with you, but why is unfair?”

To be continued. …….

http://veteranfamily.blogspot.com/2013/03/fair-and-unfair.html

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